Want to see what raw vulnerability looks like?

Below is a snapshot I took of myself the first month of teaching yoga -- inside a giant fitness studio -- during one of my class time slots when no one showed up. I can remember that day so clearly. Rather than let feelings of defeat or rejection creep deep into my heart, I put my rose-colored glasses on and decided to have myself a field day doing yoga all by myself in a beautiful brand new studio. I seized the opportunity to utilize the space to get myself ready for the students who would love the energy and yoga that I have an abundance of. The students whom I knew in my heart would show up for my classes and discover new things about themselves or revisit hidden layers of themselves they hadn't embraced in years. Someday they will show up, I told myself, even if it wasn't that day or at that studio. And lucky for my courageous little heart, eventually those students did show up :)

It is difficult to describe the feelings I had that day,
after all of the time (7-months),
the money (equivalent to 5-months rent),
the sweat, tears, and determination
that I had devoted to learning how to share the incredible healing powers of yoga in a compassionate and nurturing way
-- and remembering every one of my critics and doubters lined up
with a list of reasons why I was going to fail,
and how teaching yoga is not a real career.

I have included a powerful quote by Theodore Roosevelt (recently reminded of by Dr. Brene Brown and her amazing take on vulnerability and courage) explaining why I never threw in the towel, and why you never should either :)

Autumn Winds & Opportunities

Warm summer breezes in New England are slowly turning into cool autumn winds. Tank tops and shorts, covered by sweatshirts and pants. My neighborhood trees have already announced that fall has arrived by scattering multicolored leaves on front lawns and sidewalks.

I've always loved this time of year. Apple picking, giant piles of leaves, pumpkins, and comfort food! If I were to explain what autumn is to someone who had never experienced this season in New England, I would share that it crisps the air and foliage outside, while simultaneously encouraging inner warmth through activities and meals.

Though I am in my late twenties, I still also associate the start of fall with learning and growth. When in school, the first few weeks always invited a new sense of personal identity and introduced interesting ideas that expanded my knowledge even further. Another grade higher, new teachers, classmates, books, lessons, and freshly sharpened pencils. The season of autumn is bursting with new opportunities to expand horizons, explore life in different ways, with fresh new perspectives.

This fall, I am jumping at opportunities left and right. Not just any opportunities, but the ones that particularly relate to where I choose to see myself being in five years -- in my career, in my relationships, and in my personal journey. I am spending this time to establish where I want my roots to sink in, around people with positive energy and intentions, and open my heart to face challenges that will help me accomplish my true wishes for myself. Affirmations, vision boards, and traveling will be accompanying me on this path, helping to keep me engaged and enthusiastic each day.


YOUR MINDFULNESS PRACTICE:
Find a part of your day when you can take 3-5 minutes for yourself. Turn your phone on silent, mute the TV, turn off your computer monitor. Sometimes escaping to the bathroom can be a great place to find a few minutes of quiet aloneness. Once you have made the time, take about five calming breaths with your eyes closed to help center your mind and body. Send your attention to the area around your heart (aka your heart-center), and with your focus sent inward, ask yourself the following:
Is there any way I can adjust or rearrange my scheduled responsibilities (work or other) for a day or a week this fall, to offer myself the gift of "me" time? Can I make time to care for myself? Can I offer myself time to open up to new opportunities that could bring me more happiness? More peace of mind? More money? More self love? 

Year One, Ecstatic Gratitude

Walking away from a full-time job (including medical & dental insurance, paid sick time, paid vacation time, paid holidays, the list goes on...) to pursue a career in an industry I was a complete newbie in, was the first time I decided to let my heart speak to me louder than the commentary of everyone else. It was a HUGE gamble to leave my role in the all too familiar American Dream (not to mention financial security!) to try something completely new, starting from the ground-up, and the idea seemed completely bonkers in the eyes of some of my co-workers, friends, and family members -- but to those who knew me well, it was clear that there was no turning back once I made up my mind to go for it.  
 
My very first classes and workshops were made up of friends and family whom I am blessed to have in my life!! I will never forget the people who took time out of their lives to help support me in an unfamiliar dream I decided to pursue. Their comments and suggestions from the beginning have been immeasurable! A few have since admitted to not really being "into" yoga, and finding this out only made my smile beam brighter, because that means they came to my classes out of the goodness of their heart and for the opportunity to support me. Some of them even drove an hour in traffic after work to make it to my less-than-perfect classes during my first few months of teaching. Others were able to recruit (or perhaps bribe) friends of theirs to come take my class, just to help me have a few extra students.

I was also blessed with friends who took a gamble and lined up some of my first "outside of a fitness studio" gigs! To me, I will always appreciate these special friends who seriously went out on a limb for me (some without ever experiencing my teaching skills beforehand), they opened up their own workplace as a venue for me to share my gifts with others, trusting that my passion would shine through. I cannot begin to explain how deeply grateful I am for the trust and support that they provided me during the scariest year of my life, as a new yoga teacher!

I am forever grateful to have such kind and supportive spirits surrounding me. I will never forget my very first rookie-of-the-year teaching experiences, opportunities, and support from my very own cheering squad. I don't know that I have ever experienced this much love before in my entire life, and I don't know that I ever would have had I not chosen to follow my heart and quit my desk job. Without the gifts that I received, in various forms of kindness and trust, I would never have been able to teach the number of fantastic students I met along the way. I am such a lucky woman!

To my family & friends: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for everything you have done to help contribute to an AMAZING first year of teaching yoga to hundreds of students all over the state of Massachusetts!! Thank you for being there when I needed you most: on the other end of teary-eyed phone calls; times when only one person (or no one!) signed up for my class; when I was simultaneously panicking and excited about teaching a new age-group; when I taught my largest class ever and ran out of yoga mats; when I had days facing self-doubt and anxiety about not knowing if what I have to offer is "enough" -- You gave me confidence, hugs, feedback, encouragement, and most importantly the reassurance that I did not make a giant mistake by stepping out from my cubicle and into the real world to share my energy and passion with anyone and everyone! I promise that you will all be the first ones I fly to my exotic yoga retreats once I make it big!!